So on the hottest day of July in the year of 1951, Emileeeeee McPheeeeee was born. Tales of a difficult birth were told for years but one thing that was told over and over was that she was born round. So round that if she fell down she could almost roll down the hill to the bottom. Her mother put red frilly dresses on her; so frilly she shone like the sun. Sometimes people thought she was the sun. Maybe she was the sun. Her grandmother, not caring for the colour red, put brown dresses on her all the time. Sometimes she looked like a Tollhouse chunky brownie. Maybe she was a chunky brownie. Well, she consumed enough of them.
At school Emileeeeee was teased for being round. The more she was teased, the rounder she got and the more she ate. She ate and ate and ate until she could not feel the pain anymore. After she ate until she could not consume another morsel, she would read.She would read and read and read and pretend she lived in a storybook. She felt safe in the storybook . In fact she was safe in all of the books and especially safe in the Sears catalogue. No one could hurt her there. No one would dare. Why? Because in the storybook she was Nancy Drew and Ned was her boyfriend and Ned would not let one hair on her head be harmed. Yes, she was Nancy Drew and that was a fact. A big fact. No one should ever dispute it. More about that later.
Emileeeeee never dated like the other girls but she really liked this boy who looked like Howdy Doody. In her books that she read and read and read, he became her prince. He was THE prince, HER prince that would take away the pain. One night she gathered up great courage and went to the school dance wearing a beehive hairdo, a gray pleated skirt and a gray sweatshirt. It was the best she could do. She didn't want to look like the sun after all. Nor a chunky brownie.
Slowly she walked down to the corner where he sat with the other boys and with a small tiny voice she asked him to dance. He said no very loudly and he and all the other boys started to laugh and laugh and laugh. Emileeeeee slowly turned around and walked and walked and walked out the gymnasium door, out the front door and her feet didn't stop until she reached her house and she slammed the door shut.
One day Emileeeeee found out that if you did not eat you could get thin. So for days and days and days she did not eat. She got so small her grandmother pleaded with her to eat. Emileeeeee did not care. She was thin now and all those boys that had laughed at her liked her now. Someone liked her, actually people LOVED her and that is all she cared about. She even got the cutest boy in school to dance with her and walk her home. He kissed her and kissed her at her front door and she was over the moon. She was almost OVER the moon until she found out he wanted things she did not know about. So she booted him over the moon, well actually, down the snowy concrete stairs. In fact, if she could have dug a hole in the snow and left him there, she would have.His name was Golden Boy.
One day someone wanted to marry her but he did not really love Emileeeeee. He loved that Emileeeeee could work three jobs and send him to school. He was not the prince. He was definalty not THE prince in her story books. So Emily ate and ate and ate and the prince finally left. Good Riddance to the prince. Adieu..farewell...sayonara.
The princes came and went for years and years. Sometimes Emileeeeee would eat and eat and eat and then she found a new trick. If you threw up over and over you could be thin. So she worshipped and re-worshipped the porcelain throne until she was very thin. So thin she looked like a stick. Her hair was falling out and her heart pounded but she was thin. So thin ..so very thin..stick thin.
Emileeeeee tried for years to stay thin but she was dying, trying to be thin. One day she gave up and started to eat and eat and eat again. Sometimes you hurt so bad that nothing else helps. You can't bury the hurt, you can't kick it along. It lived in Emileeeeee. It ate Emileeeeee alive some days and story books could no longer take the hurt away.
One day Emileeeee gave up. She could not stay thin without hurting herself. She could not be like Barbie or Midge or Skipper. She could not be willow thin nor even semi-willow-thin. Even semi-willow-thin was not good enough. Not good enough at all!
One day Emileeeeee was hurting so bad she opened one of her old story books and pleaded with them to swallow her whole. Swallow her whole and stop the hurt.
The very next day someone came to see Emileeeeee and couldn't find her. They looked and looked and looked and thought she was gone. They called and called and called her name over and over and over. They kept searching and searching and searching and finally they looked under the bed and there, laying on top of page 39 was Emileeeeee She was smiling and smiling and smiling. And yes in her dreams asleep on page 39..she was thin...So very thin..
Linda Seccaspina
copyright 2010
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