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On Monday rocker Jon Bon Jovi was pronounced dead on Twitter. A fake press release on Twitter had him dead and buried even though some think he can only be killed by silver bullets. No official statement has been issued by his management or his current employer Advil. Shock and awe filled the nation yesterday when the first Tweet came out. But as Bon Jovi says in his Advil commercial:
"Pain doesn't have much of a place in my life as I check the schedule and it's not on it."
Thankfully the strong arm of Death was not after Bon Jovi yesterday. Was it was nothing but a Tweet of “Bad Medicine” you ask? As far as some are concerned he is only "allegedly" alive, stooping so low as to do pain medication commercials. Between you and me someone should have checked that information beforehand when it was mentioned that he was found unconscious at the “Jersey Shore” Medical Center.
I started to think how awful it is to have Twitter become the official announcement of your death. I had family oddities in my world that died years ago and wondered what their Twitters might have been?
Great Great grandmother Louise Knight was a lady in waiting for Queen Victoria. Rumour has it that the woman had "loose skirts" and ended up getting kicked out of the royal court.
She did do well for herself flashing those skirts, Louise ended up marrying some Earl who lived in Essex. Her beloved husband died at an early age.
Twitter Announcement:
“Well known Duke of Earl dies today; male neighbours seeking phone number of his widow. She gave “Love a Bad Name!” http://ning.it/rK5EeE
Great grandfather Alexander Knight was a British Music Hall musician. My great grandmother brought in laundry to support her and my grandfather while Alexander sang his life away.
Eventually he left them and took the next boat to the United States and ended up dying on Ellis Island, caught in a small fire. Apparently my great grandmother terrorized my young grandfather, telling him this is what would happen to him if he did not follow a righteous road.
Twitter Announcement:
“Alexander Knight went to his grave singing “Knees Up Mother Brown.” He lived longer than he deserved and went down in a” Blaze of Glory”!” http://ning.it/rK5EeE
Great cousin Odessa, as I was told a zillion times, was named after the port of Odessa in England and did a lot of theater work as a dancer in London.
I never asked what kind of dancing she did, and no one ever spoke about it as I believe large fans were involved.
All I know was my grandmother used to tell me that when she got old no one wanted her, and she was promptly shipped off to Canada to live with my grandparents.
She became extremely senile, and every week they would give her a 50 cent piece, which she would put in a small pouch with a long string that she wore around her neck.
No one knew what happened to the coins - when she died they were never found. My grandmother kept insisting Odessa must have sent the money back to England, which is a stretch seeing she never left the darn house.
Twitter Announcement:
Dessa Knight died today- Presence not missed and no tears will be shed over her passing. Reward offered for missing gold pieces and the “Bad Medicine” that put her down. http://ning.it/rK5EeE
“My great uncle built himself a completely round barn that was the talk of the county before he died. He deemed it a success as the farmhands could no longer pee in the corner anymore.”
George C died in his barn yesterday and his last words were: “Watch out! “Slippery When Wet!” http://ning.it/rK5EeE
When I got pregnant with my first child I found out that my blood type was the rare AB positive. My doctor told me that 3% of the world has this blood type and it was mostly wacky royalty from Europe. Sitting there 4 months pregnant in a neon green and yellow balloon dress I had designed and looking much like a flashing traffic light about to explode I started laughing.
She looked me straight in the eye and said,
"And that is my dear is why you are the way you are."
"You are what you bleed."
Twitter Announcement:
Linda Seccaspina died yesterday. She is survived by her sons and a huge collection of blogs. She always lived her life “Livin on a Prayer.”http://ning.it/rK5EeE
Linda Seccaspina 2011
I along with others are glad that the death of Bon Jovi proved not to be true. May the person that did this be ”Wanted Dead or Alive”!
